Right now, I’m (hopefully) towards the end of an “in-between chapter” of my life.
From what it’s been feeling like recently, I have come to a close of one lively, crazy chapter of my life (studying abroad in Italy last semester) and am awaiting the open door for the next one (summer? Starting junior year of college? Something I haven’t even found yet???). I’m obviously not sure what is next, but it’s coming soon. Since I returned home only a few weeks ago, I have been juggling two jobs, moving back from a rental house to my real home, preparing to move into my first adult apartment (!!!!), and trying to stay afloat it all.
I’ve been doing a lot of maintenance work on myself recently. Studying abroad, as you have read all about on my previous posts, revealed the rawest version of myself as can be. With that, I found my strengths, weaknesses, passions, and fears. I have been working on loving each and every piece of that. Sometimes, holding it closer to my heart and cherishing it. Other times, appreciating how it has shaped me, and working to let it go. This is not something that can be done overnight, as much as I wish it were. It may get easier and/or harder, and is a constant effort. But one day, you will catch yourself falling into old habits, then realizing that they are old habits.
This middle ground area of discovering out who I am and growing to who I want to be is quite the experience of its own. Returning back to home has made this extra exciting. There is a quote I’m sure you’ve probably seen on Pinterest or Instagram:
“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.”
I left California as one person, and have returned as the same. I’m still Christina. But I found myself, allowing me to really be me. My old passion for reading has been revived (currently reading “The Circle” by Dave Eggers, SO GOOD). I found an awareness inside of my actions and my behavior, which makes the change of who I am to who I want to be much more direct. I learned who I am, which was my goal.
But now, I am finding out how to incorporate these fresh changes to my old life. Old friends, where do you fit in? Passions, am I still sure you are what I want to do for the rest of my life? Dreams, where do we start?
The next chapter of my life very well may be starting with the end of this post. I have seen the moon shine on the other side of the world, and I am constantly discovering myself throughout.