Christmas Thoughts

Last time I posted on here was just a few weeks into the fall semester of my junior year. Now, I have since finished the semester in a much better place. Tomorrow is Christmas. Once again, I find myself trying to grasp how much life has happened in just the span of a semester (let alone, the whole year).

Classes wrapped up well; some tough professors that I was not particularly fond of but all in all it worked out. I produced my first project, which turned out better than I could have ever imagined. I was beginning to fear that I wouldn’t enjoy working in this industry, no matter what the position was. However, after working on such a fun film from start to finish, I rediscovered the passion that got me here. I’m still not 100% sure of what I want to do. I do know, though, that I will find something in it I enjoy. I will fail and it will be great because it’s all going to work out the way it’s meant to.

My emphasis on relationships took an unexpected turn this semester. After a weekend zen mountain retreat for a leadership class, I got a chance to further rebalance my priorities. A textbook for the class was Tuesday’s with Morrie, one of my favorite novels. I read it halfway before leaving for Italy, then reread it all and finished it in one sitting when I returned home. Our impact on the world is how we make others feel. It’s so easy to seclude yourself from others, coming up with excuses after excuses. While that may allow for productivity…what are you left with? It hit me hard, so I started reaching out to friends and family. Without tiring myself out too much (a constant battle of its own), I began spending quality time with quality people. Homework was still getting done, I had nothing to worry about. Rather than wasting hours on the internet (I barely touched my Netflix all semester, whoops), I was efficient in my studies and seeing people I enjoy. I met some really incredible people this semester, while also deepening the sweetest friendships I already had.

Moments from sharing late night tears with your best friend to sitting on a rooftop talking about nothing are irreplaceable.

After exploring the world and discovering myself the first part of the year, I spent the second half grounding myself. It was messy at first, but then reaped so many rewards. I began understanding and reaching for things I wanted. I constantly pray and journal that I can be authentic and fearless in the pursuit of myself. For the first time, I really feel like it’s happening.

It is still a work in progress. I am not perfect, but whole. I am feeding my heart and soul with what is good. I am embracing the trials and errors of life, from ideas to boys to workout plans.

I can’t quite remember how it came to be, but my roommate and I began to use the phrase “riding the wave of life.” It’s so good and it’s hard at the same time, but somehow I find myself stoked to be in the middle of it all. I’m pretty happy to be figuring it out, and am taking it one step at a time.

I just turned 21. I’m interning next semester and am excited to get more of an idea of what I want to do. I’ll be serving Chapman’s Greek Community on the Panhellenic board. My girl friends are sweet, supportive, exciting, and overall amazing. I found a handful of guy friends who are always down to do something or nothing. My family is a rock hard unit. I am finally getting time to write, read, and watch good TV. Further understanding what I need and want in my next relationship. Fresh classes in a major and minors that I love. New projects to get my hands into.

There is always more out there, we just have to seek and prepare for it. This year has shown me the depths of God’s work in my life. It has brought me lessons, love, and knowledge.

I can only hope that this next year will be filled with much more. I hope that I will be able to continue actually doing the things I want t do. I hope to impact people in a positive way. I hope to share more irreplaceable moments with wonderful people. I hope to be inspired in ways unlike ever before. And with that, I will continue sharing it all with you.

“…the gifts that come in the package of Christmas – vulnerability for intimacy, strength for suffering, passion for justice, and power over prejudice. And you are blessed if you open this gift and take it into your life. If you do, you’ll be blessed. You’ll be transformed” (Tim Keller).

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