The abyss of the uncertainty is a challenging, yet empowering force in life. If you face it with fear, it can drown you. Pushing you deeper and deeper, making you question your abilities, your worth, and your purpose. On the other hand, uncertainty can lead to trust, if you are vulnerable with it. Welcome the possibilities gently and with an open mind.
This is where I constantly find myself anxious, uncomfortable, and afraid.
I first started to notice this in high school. Junior year began the stress of applying the colleges.
Where would I want to go? What would I be able to afford? Was I doing well enough on the SAT? (This stressed me out so much so that I took the SAT 4 times. Yikes.) Was I taking enough AP/IB classes? Who was getting in where? Will I even make it?!
Then, college started and it became a whole new ballgame.
What do I want to study? Who am I going to become friends with? Will I meet anyone, and what would that even turn into? How am I going to have time for a job? What could I see myself doing for the rest of my life?
It just keeps going,
The questions will never end, unless you allow them to.
Embracing the uncertainty means being vulnerable to what life will bring you. Whether that’s a job, a project, a friendship, a relationship, or even yourself, we must allow ourselves to open. It could go well, providing you with a new opportunity to be truly be you. Or you could crash and burn, which reveals an opportunity for a new beginning as well as teach you a lesson.
How do we best take on the scary, over-encompassing uncertainty?
Ok, so yeah I get it, easier said than done.
But (you knew it was coming ok deal with it) we have to trust ourselves. It’s going to work out. You will get through this. Today may suck but tomorrow will be better. You are special, designed to bring something unique to this world. You will get there, and each bump in the road is just another story in the making.
My favorite quote I remind myself in situations like this is, “you are exactly where you are meant to be.” Some may relate this to a religious perspective, while others see the universe working its sweet, sweet magic. Whatever floats your boat.
Look at how far you’ve come. How much you’ve changed. At the person you’ve become and the things you have done to get there. What is going on right now, just may be what you reflect on in the future.
Our society has shaped our generation to thirst for immediate gratification. Instagram likes, Tinder swipes, and even read receipts, we want responses and answers ASAP. Take your time, be in the present, and savor each moment. You’re not always going to have the answers. If you did, life would be boring and meaningless. This is your reminder that it’s all going to work out. Accept that we can only be as much as we are in this moment, so be the person you want to be right now: wholeheartedly, and fearlessly yourself. Don’t let fear hold you back.
I occasionally find myself getting in fits of comparison and feeling inadequate, which is honestly what triggers most of my anxiety. I am so excited for my future and am enjoying so many different subjects, but am not quite sure of what I exactly want to do just yet. I don’t know when the day will come that I will know what I want to do. I don’t know if that day will determine the course of the rest of my life, or if it will change. I simply don’t know. I feel the nerves bouncing around my stomach as I write this, but it’s true. The only thing I can do right now, is to work hard in what I know I love. It will work out, and it will happen the way it is supposed to.
I know this whole pep talk may seem far out, but maybe one day it’ll help.
Be proud of who you are, where you came from, and where you are going to go. It’s an exciting process, but it’s also a p r o c e s s. It’s ok to fail, it’s even better to take risks, and it’s going to be amazing wherever you end up.
It’s scary. It’s going to take practice. But I’m here for you.