Hi, yes, I know, I’m sorry again. We may have been on a break (@Ross) but I swear I’m ready to get back together!
It’s almost June 2017. I’m starting my senior year of college. It feels like just yesterday I was starting this (still not knowing what it was) writing about making dorm decorations.
This year has been…a lot. Let’s break it down.
Fall semester. I had just returned from studying abroad. I had a few professors who were extremely rude. Friends changed but in a really spectacular way. Made it through, lots of life happened.
Spring semester, I was ready. I had scored the internship of my dreams. Finally locked down my friends and had found a good flow in balancing them. Fall semester, as y’all know, I struggled with bouts of anxiety again. I kept trying to stop it because I “loved everything I was doing”. With my new position on Panhellenic, extremely interesting classes, and a killer internship, I realized what it feels like to really enjoy everything you are doing. It was the first time, ever, that I felt like I was actually making power moves towards where I am meant to be.
However, with having so many wonderful responsibilities, came a lack of free time. I drove up to Burbank twice a week and had pretty much full days of classes on the days I did not have work. Weekends were usually filled with plans I couldn’t do during the week, or attending Panhellenic responsibilities, and if not, I drove home to ensure my family remembered me.
Allow me to take this second here to note that I am beyond grateful for this past semester and everything I was involved in. However, I never realized how fast I was going until my internship ended.
There was one day I remember, that I already had not slept much because of a project, I woke up early for class, most of the day had gone by and I literally had not eaten a single thing. Nothing. I was so busy, I just didn’t even notice that I was hungry. If you know me, you know that is never a problem. Yikes. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in my Entertainment Marketing class. Normally it’s a lecture where I catch up on homework that I wanted to get done. Since it was the end of the semester and I had finished most of my final projects, I had the chance to focus. When I actually paid attention to what was going on in the class, it hit me. I hadn’t sat and listened pretty much the entire freaking semester! How messed up is that?! From what I did gather, it was an intriguing class that I did end up doing well in. However, to this day (prior to starting my full time internship next week), I am so ANTSY because I was not used to being PRESENT.
Towards the end of the semester, crap really hit the fan for me. Maybe stuff I’ll talk about another time, but it was just one tough hit after another. I was not in a good place for a while. Luckily, once my internship ended, the rest of my classes wrapped up pretty smoothly. I finally had time do my own thing and really rest.
This was when I realized what this semester had really given me, without my noticing: me time. I was exhausted, but my moments by myself were cherished. Late nights getting work done, any chance I could squeeze in a trip to the gym, even my commutes (ew) were long but always good thinking time. These were what I needed, and helped keep me going.
When life gets crazy – things are happening, stuff is changing – remember to be there for yourself. Take care of yourself when you need to. Sometimes, the big guy upstairs or the universe or whatever you believe, will really knock you to your feet to remind you this. It can be painful, but oh so important.
Stay tuned for more. This is my priority this summer! I’ve missed you.